Pete Davidson, the actor and comedian known for his raw honesty, has recently shared a poignant account of how he navigated childhood trauma following the loss of his father, Scott Davidson, a New York City firefighter who tragically died on September 11, 2001. In a deeply personal conversation on Jon Bernthal’s “Real Ones” podcast, Davidson, now 29, opened up about the confusing and heartbreaking way he learned about his father’s death and the long-lasting impact it had on his life.
Davidson recounted the day of the attacks, a day that began with the innocent anticipation of being picked up from school by his father. Instead, his mother arrived, and a veil of unspoken tension descended. For three days, young Pete was shielded from the unfolding tragedy, told only that his father was “at work” and “coming home.” This attempt to protect him, while perhaps well-intentioned, only prolonged the agony of uncertainty. His mother even grounded him from television, inadvertently delaying the inevitable confrontation with reality.
The truth, when it arrived, was stark and sudden. “Then one night, I turned on the TV and I just saw my dad on the TV,” Davidson revealed. The broadcast showed images of the fallen firefighters, a visual confirmation of the devastating loss. At just seven years old, Pete Davidson was confronted with the immense grief and the profound absence of his father, Scott Davidson, a hero who perished in the line of duty at the World Trade Center.
The immediate aftermath was a period of agonizing uncertainty. “It was weird because we didn’t know he was dead for, like, three weeks,” Davidson explained. The hope, however fragile, that his father might be found alive created a torturous emotional rollercoaster. The constant news updates and the grim reality of the situation were overwhelming for a young child to process.
Pete Davidson attends the premiere of
The absence of his father, Pete Davidson’s firefighter father, created deep-seated abandonment issues that plagued Davidson for years. He articulated the core of this trauma: “You know, Dad says he’s coming to pick you up and he doesn’t.” This foundational experience instilled in him a pervasive distrust, impacting his relationships and his perception of the world. He candidly admitted, “For life, I’m like, I don’t believe anyone, and I’m trying to learn how to believe people — and Hollywood isn’t exactly the greatest place to learn that skill.”
As Davidson matured, his perspective shifted, allowing him to appreciate the immense burden his mother carried in the wake of the tragedy. He reflected on her strength and sacrifice, saying, “My mom was f——, like, 30 … I’m about to be — I wouldn’t know what the f— to do. And that’s why as I get older I’m like, ‘Man, my mom was awesome. F—, she really loves me.'” This newfound empathy highlights Davidson’s journey of healing and understanding.
Davidson has been in therapy to manage post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder, conditions he believes are linked to the trauma of losing his father in such a catastrophic event. Therapy has provided him with crucial tools to navigate his emotional landscape and address the deep-seated issues stemming from his childhood loss. He described therapy as a process of “fact-checking” his own trauma-conditioned brain, learning to challenge ingrained patterns of distrust and insecurity. “You actually have to trick your brain, because your brain after a while becomes used to trauma, it becomes used to being hurt, becomes used to being f—– over,” he shared, emphasizing the profound impact of trauma on mental and emotional well-being.
Davidson also bravely spoke about his past struggles with self-harm, including cutting and head-banging, as maladaptive coping mechanisms for overwhelming emotions. He detailed his journey toward healthier coping strategies: “Up until a year ago, I used to cut and I used to bang my head against walls, because if I couldn’t deal with something, like if someone told me something sad or something I couldn’t deal with, I would bang my head against the wall hoping I would pass out because I didn’t want to be in that situation because I couldn’t handle that.” His openness about these experiences underscores the severity of his trauma and the long road to recovery.
Through therapy and personal growth, Davidson has developed constructive ways to manage distress. He now employs techniques like taking cold showers, listening to music, or connecting with friends when he feels overwhelmed by the urge to self-harm. He recognizes these feelings as temporary surges, learning to ride out the emotional waves rather than succumbing to destructive behaviors. “That feeling most of the time goes away after, like, 15, 20 minutes,” he noted, illustrating the power of coping mechanisms in managing intense emotional states.
Pete Davidson’s story is a testament to resilience and the enduring impact of loss. His willingness to share his deeply personal experience with the death of his firefighter father, Scott Davidson, serves as a powerful reminder of the long shadow cast by 9/11 and the importance of addressing childhood trauma. His journey of healing, though ongoing, offers hope and encouragement to others grappling with grief, PTSD, and the complex legacy of loss.
