Zeb Wells and John Romita Jr. initiated their Amazing Spider-Man #1 (Vol. 6) in April 2022 with a surprising narrative jump of six months. Fans were shocked to discover that Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker, who had rekindled their romance in Nick Spencer’s Amazing Spider-Man run, were no longer together. Peter was portrayed as distraught and bitter, facing widespread disapproval from Aunt May, Randy Robertson, the Fantastic Four, and even Captain America. Mary Jane was unreachable, creditors were relentless, and Peter was working for Norman Osborn of all people! The biggest bombshell, however, was Mary Jane’s new life with Paul and their two children. This revelation at the end of the first issue was undeniably a cliffhanger.
A year later, Amazing Spider-Man #21-25 started to fill in the missing pieces, revealing the reasons behind Peter and Mary Jane’s breakup, introducing Paul, and explaining the animosity towards Peter. Speculation about a potential reconciliation between Mary Jane and Peter also arose. However, for some readers, a more fundamental question emerged: Should Mary Jane even be with Peter Parker in the first place?
This article will delve into the complexities of Mj And Peter Parker’s relationship, drawing insights from the recent Amazing Spider-Man storyline and considering the long history of their on-again, off-again romance in the comics. It will argue that, despite their iconic status as a couple, Mary Jane’s current path away from Peter might be the healthier and more fulfilling direction for her character.
As a longtime Spider-Man reader, with my journey beginning in March 1986, the marriage of Peter and Mary Jane in The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 in June 1987 was a significant event. They were the couple for many fans, and their separation in the controversial “One More Day” storyline in 2007 was met with considerable backlash. Even after taking a break from comics, the news of their breakup resonated negatively. Years later, in a piece titled “Spider-Man and the Black Cat: Flirting with Perfection,” I affirmed my deep affection for Peter and Mary Jane as a couple, calling them “Marvel’s power couple” and “a testament to love’s power to endure all things.” While that article focused on Peter’s relationship with Felicia Hardy, it was important to preface it with a declaration of my love for the Peter and MJ pairing.
The shocking final page of Amazing Spider-Man #1, revealing Mary Jane’s new family and leaving readers questioning Peter and MJ’s future together.
This sentiment continued in a subsequent article, “Spider-Man and Mary Jane: Soul Mates? Y/N/Maybe,” where their relationship was examined through the lens of soulmates. The piece concluded with a hopeful outlook, stating, “No matter what stage in their relationship you’re looking at, Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker reflect all that is beautiful and broken about romantic love…Will they find each other again in the end? I don’t know that either. But I choose to believe they will…because there’s nothing I believe in more than love.”
Given this history, it might seem obvious that I would advocate for Peter and Mary Jane to reunite. However, recent developments in the comics have led to a shift in perspective.
The current storyline by Zeb Wells and John Romita Jr. reintroduces Benjamin Rabin, a character from Amazing Spider-Man #555-557, who is once again attempting to resurrect Wayep, an ancient Mayan God of Death. Rabin’s return disrupts Mary Jane and Peter’s attempt to move in together. During a confrontation in Mary Jane’s apartment, Rabin marks Peter “for vengeance” and Mary Jane “for sacrifice,” sending them to a desolate, post-apocalyptic dimension. There, they encounter Paul, who rescues them and reveals he was sent to this world by Rabin long ago. Peter, with Paul’s help, works on a dimension-jumping device, intending to send Mary Jane back to Earth to seek help from the Fantastic Four. In a surprising turn, Mary Jane sends Peter back instead, prioritizing his safety and the protection of their world.
Mary Jane and Paul in the alternate dimension, a moment of connection after she made the difficult decision to send Peter back.
Upon Peter’s return, he discovers that years have passed in the alternate dimension while only hours have elapsed on Earth. Desperate to return to Mary Jane, Peter enlists the help of Norman Osborn, who is seeking redemption. They assemble a team and resources, and Peter eventually returns to the other dimension, arriving just in time to distract Rabin, allowing Paul to defeat him. However, upon reuniting with Mary Jane, Peter is met with a cold reality: she has moved on. She reveals that nearly four years have passed for her, and in that time, she has built a life and family with Paul and their children, Stephanie and Owen.
This revelation has understandably sparked outrage and disappointment among many fans who have long rooted for Peter and Mary Jane. The internet is filled with expressions of frustration, echoing similar sentiments that arose after “One More Day.” While some readers appreciate the current storyline, a significant portion yearn for the classic Peter and MJ romance to be restored. And as someone who has championed their relationship in the past, I understand this desire.
However, upon witnessing Mary Jane’s life with Paul and her children, an unexpected emotion arose: relief. It became clear that Mary Jane had finally found the kind of fulfilling life, relationship, and family that she deserves, a life that Peter, despite his good intentions, has never been able to provide. While Peter and Mary Jane’s story has been narratively compelling, their relationship has often been unbalanced and unhealthy, particularly for Mary Jane.
Years of research into Peter Parker’s romantic history, spanning sixteen articles and countless comics, have revealed a consistent pattern: Peter is often a flawed romantic partner. This isn’t due to malice or lack of care, but rather stemming from his deep-seated, unresolved trauma. This trauma profoundly impacts all of his relationships.
The poignant reunion between Mary Jane and Peter, immediately followed by the introduction of Paul and the children, highlighting the changed landscape of their relationship.
Drawing on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, a therapeutic approach that emphasizes understanding the different “parts” within ourselves, helps to illuminate Peter’s struggles. IFS, as explained by its developer Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, focuses on healing by listening to these internal “parts” – our feelings and thoughts – and unburdening them of extreme emotions and beliefs. This process allows individuals to access their “Self,” a core of calm, compassion, and connectedness, enabling them to lead more centered and fulfilling lives.
IFS challenges the notion that we need a partner to complete us, arguing that true fulfillment comes from learning to love and heal our own internal parts. Only then can we enter into healthy relationships where we can love and be loved authentically.
Within us, some parts become “exiles,” often formed in response to trauma. These exiles carry “burdens,” which are foreign feelings and beliefs stemming from traumatic experiences. Peter Parker’s life is marked by significant trauma: the early loss of his parents, a lonely and bullied childhood, the tragic death of Uncle Ben, and the devastating murder of Gwen Stacy. These experiences have undoubtedly created numerous burdened exiles within Peter.
These foreign feelings or beliefs (sometimes described as energies) are what I call burdens. It turns out that burdens are powerful organizers of a part’s experience and activity – almost in the same way that a virus organizes a computer.
It’s important to note here that these burdens are the product of a person’s direct experience – the sense of worthlessness that comes into a child when a parent abuses them; the terror that attaches to parts during a car accident; the belief that no one can be trusted that enters young parts when we are betrayed or abandoned as children. When we are young, we have little discernment regarding the validity of these emotions and beliefs and, consequently, they get lodged in the bodies of our young parts and become powerful (albeit unconscious) organizers of our lives thereafter. These we call personal burdens.[4]
Peter’s burden-laden exiles prevent him from being a healthy partner for Mary Jane. It’s not a matter of intention, but rather an inability to fully engage in a balanced and supportive relationship until he addresses his inner wounds.
These exiles significantly influence our relationships. As Dr. Schwartz notes, “our exiles and their protectors determine everything about our success and failure with intimacy.” Exiles often crave love but are simultaneously afraid of losing it or believing they are undeserving of it. In this state, they can “wreak havoc on your relationships.”
Looking at Peter and Mary Jane’s history, the “havoc” is evident. Even before supernatural interventions like Mephisto, the inherent imbalances in their relationship were apparent. Peter’s tendency to prioritize Spider-Man, shut Mary Jane out emotionally, and expect her to be his emotional anchor while neglecting his own healing created an unsustainable dynamic. He often uses his responsibilities as Spider-Man to avoid confronting his own trauma.
A visual reminder of Gwen Stacy’s tragic death, a pivotal traumatic event in Peter Parker’s life that continues to shape his relationships.
Ben Saunders, in Do the Gods Wear Capes?: Spirituality, Fantasy, and Superheroes, astutely observes this pattern in Spider-Man’s character:
To put it another way, if we look at what Peter is repeatedly made to do by his creators, rather than what he is sometimes made to say [“With great power, comes great responsibility”], then both his feelings of guilt and his crime-fighting can seem to have an obsessive-compulsive quality about them. His expressions of self-loathing and guilt with regard to Ben’s death start to appear more neurotic than heroic. For example, his constant cry – “It’s all my fault!” – simply doesn’t stand up to close scrutiny. He didn’t actually shoot his uncle, after all, a burglar did, and yet he seems compelled to take on more responsibility than belongs to him. He is getting something from all that delicious guilt…Time and again he resolves to stop. But, like an alcoholic returning to the bottle, or more accurately, like a co-dependent, resentfully but perpetually riding to the rescue, he always finds himself donning his Spider-Man costume again.[6]
Saunders highlights the cyclical nature of Peter’s guilt and his reliance on the Spider-Man identity as a coping mechanism, suggesting it’s rooted in trauma and a need for control in an uncertain world. The death of Gwen Stacy further exposed this “self-protective fiction,” revealing the depth of Peter’s unresolved pain.
Peter Parker/Spider-Man is a beloved character, and his struggles resonate with readers. However, his unresolved trauma consistently undermines his ability to be a healthy partner, particularly for Mary Jane. Until Peter commits to addressing his trauma, perhaps by following Cindy Moon/Silk’s example and seeking therapy, he will remain a toxic partner for Mary Jane. Spider-Man, his coping mechanism, will always take precedence.
A classic image depicting Peter leaving Mary Jane alone, highlighting a recurring pattern of emotional unavailability in their relationship.
Mary Jane deserves happiness, and in the current storyline, she finds it with Paul and her children. Her joy in this new family was evident from the outset and has been further solidified in Amazing Spider-Man #25. In the alternate dimension, amidst hardship, Mary Jane and Paul built a life and a loving family together.
Mary Jane and Paul’s shared determination to protect the children in the harsh alternate reality, showcasing their growing bond and family unit.
A tender moment between Mary Jane and Owen, symbolizing the growing trust and affection within their newly formed family.
The image of Mary Jane, Paul, Stephanie, and Owen as a family unit, illustrating the happiness and fulfillment Mary Jane has found.
The scene where Owen finally allows Mary Jane to hug him is profoundly moving, symbolizing the deep connection they have formed. This storyline, crafted by Zeb Wells and John Romita Jr., is compelling because it acknowledges the complexities of Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship and allows Mary Jane to find genuine happiness independent of Peter. While the “Brand New Day” era explored Peter’s single life and the “will they/won’t they” dynamic with Mary Jane, this current narrative presents a more mature and nuanced approach. Mary Jane has found something “beautiful, real, and nourishing” with Paul and her children, making it difficult to root against her happiness.
Even if Peter were to embark on a path of healing and therapy, a reunion with Mary Jane might not be the best outcome. She has found a fulfilling life, and Peter, at least for now, seems better suited with Felicia Hardy/Black Cat. Felicia, as the Black Cat, is less likely to become Peter’s emotional caretaker, creating a potentially more balanced dynamic.
While the looming threat of Rabin and Mary Jane’s “marked for sacrifice” status introduces uncertainty, the current Amazing Spider-Man run has shifted perspectives on the Peter and MJ dynamic. The hope for their inevitable reunion has diminished, replaced by a desire for Mary Jane’s continued happiness and well-being.
Ultimately, the belief in the power of love remains, but perhaps not in the romanticized ideal of Peter and Mary Jane as soulmates. Instead, the focus shifts to Peter finding self-love and healing, which could potentially pave the way for healthier relationships in the future, whether romantic or otherwise. While Peter may never fully resolve his inner turmoil, Zeb Wells and John Romita Jr.’s storyline offers a powerful and thought-provoking narrative, allowing Mary Jane to find a love and family she deserves, a development that resonates deeply and makes it impossible to wish for her to relinquish this newfound happiness for the sake of nostalgia.
[1] Richard C. Schwartz, You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems Model to Intimate Relationships. (Boulder, Colorado: Sounds True, 2023), vii.
[2] Robert C. Schwartz, No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, (Boulder, Colorado: Sounds True, 2021), 1.
[3] Schwartz, You Are the One, 37.
[4] Schwartz, No Bad Parts, 18.
[5] Schwartz, You Are the One, 46.
[6] Ben Saunders, Do the Gods Wear Capes?: Spirituality, Religion, and Superheroes, (New York: Continuum, 2011), 79.
[7] Ibid., 80.
[8] Ibid., 85-7.
