Raccoons! With their bandit masks and curious eyes, they’re undeniably adorable and intelligent creatures. As someone who runs a wildlife rehabilitation center, pets.edu.vn, I have a deep appreciation for these animals. Each year, we care for and release hundreds of orphaned raccoon kits back into the wild. Because of this work, I often encounter people captivated by their charm, wondering, “How Do I Get A Pet Raccoon?”. Before you jump into welcoming one of these masked mammals into your home, it’s crucial to understand the reality of raccoon ownership. Let me share some insights that might change your perspective and perhaps steer you towards a pet that’s a better fit for domestic life.
The Enchanting Baby Raccoon: Months 1-3
In the initial months, a baby raccoon, or kit, will steal your heart completely. They genuinely resemble human babies in their dependence and needs, and possess the playful energy of fluffy bear cubs. During this “honeymoon phase,” the bond is intense. You’ll be bottle-feeding a purring, soft bundle, gently burping them, and enjoying nighttime cuddles. Imagine taking your adorable infant raccoon everywhere, envisioning elaborate jungle gyms in your living room, and capturing countless photos and videos. You might even jokingly consider adding your raccoon to your will! Your commitment feels unwavering, and nothing seems like it could disrupt this idyllic picture.
Reality Check: Months 4-5
Around the four to five-month mark, the scratches they inflict start to heal – a small mercy as you’ve finally weaned your now-walking, chewing machine. However, the infected scratch inside your lip? That’s a new concern requiring a doctor’s visit. An odd smell begins to emanate from your mattress, and the computer mouse has vanished without a trace. The grand jungle gym plans are forgotten, replaced by the urgent need for a robust cage. You’re ready to buy materials, but your last paycheck vanished replacing the contents of your mother’s purse – an incident from her recent visit. Did you see a twenty-dollar bill in the garbage disposal this morning? And was that her lipstick in your shoe… opened? Another hole in the carpet joins the others. Time for furniture rearrangement, but where were those other holes exactly? Garage sales become your new weekend activity, desperately seeking a replacement chair.
Raccoon Rebellion: Months 6-7
By six or seven months, frustration boils over, and you might find yourself “rehoming” the now-rotten-feeling beast… outside. In raccoon logic, this is an act of war. Retaliation is swift and targeted: your car. Somehow, the raccoon breaches your vehicle and shreds the seat cushions. As if that wasn’t enough, a pungent, unidentifiable gift is left somewhere under the seat. A carwash is desperately needed, but turning the ignition yields only silence. Under the hood, you search for disconnected wires, broken wires… any wires. They’re gone. Vanished. Your raccoon has moved beyond chewing and entered the realm of automotive dismantling.
The Marshmallow Dictator: 8+ Months
At eight months and beyond, your raccoon views you with open hostility, unless, of course, you are holding a marshmallow. Marshmallows become your currency, your entry ticket to your own home. Your raccoon will brazenly wait on your doorstep every day. Forget the key; marshmallows are now essential pocket items. Forget marshmallows, and you’re strategizing chimney entries. Otherwise, prepare to share your living space with a 30-pound nightmare who seems determined to make your life miserable, one tormented breath at a time.
This is often the point when my phone rings. It’s someone who excitedly called months ago, seeking feeding advice for their “precious baby,” who then hung up when I insisted they bring the animal to our center because we don’t endorse keeping wild animals as pets. Now, they call back, filled with regret for ignoring my initial advice. So please, learn from their experiences. Leave raccoons to wildlife experts and consider a cat instead. You will genuinely thank me later.
And if these anecdotes aren’t persuasive enough, just look up “Raccoon roundworm.” That should definitively change your mind about wanting a pet raccoon!
Annette King, Wildlife Rehabilitator, pets.edu.vn
