It’s been almost a year since Dustin, our nervous cat with milky eyes, passed away, and we still miss him dearly. Despite his reserved nature, his absence is profoundly felt. We miss his characteristic refusal to acknowledge us and his pickiness about being petted. However, Dustin’s aloofness wasn’t his fault. Early trauma as a kitten, abandoned in a shoebox at a vet’s doorstep, instilled in him a lifelong fear of unseen threats. This constant anxiety understandably made Dustin a very nervous cat.
Years of patient care and affection allowed us to almost alleviate his anxiety, until tragically, Dustin was killed by two unleashed pet dogs – a cruel twist of fate. When we retrieved his frozen body for his funeral, his expression seemed to say, “I told you so.” Ironically, it was only then, in his frozen state, that we could truly stroke him properly.
I often find myself pondering whether Dustin truly loved us. A part of me yearns for reassurance that we made his eleven years as comfortable as possible. But can we ever genuinely understand the emotions pets harbor for us? After a year of contemplation, I want to share my thoughts on this enduring question: Do Pets Love Their Owners?
To begin, let’s consider definitions. It’s interesting that while we have a rich vocabulary for different types of rain, we often use the single word “love” for a spectrum of powerful emotions. The ancient Greeks wisely categorized love into various forms. Storge (στοργή), for instance, represents familial love; eros (ἔρως) is erotic love; philia (φιλία) signifies the loyalty of friendship; and philautia (φιλαυτία) is self-love. In exploring whether pets love their owners, breaking down “pet love” into these Greek categories can be insightful.
Storge: The Familial Love of Pets
When considering storge, or familial love, dogs immediately come to mind. More than any other pet, dogs demonstrably exhibit this form of affection towards us. Numerous scientific studies validate what many dog owners intuitively know: dogs form strong familial bonds with humans. Research confirms that dogs actively seek proximity to humans, and from a young age, puppies are more drawn to people than to other dogs. Dogs also display separation anxiety when their human companions leave and experience reduced blood pressure when petted by their owners. This clearly mirrors the storge we experience in human family relationships. There’s little doubt that this aspect of how pets love their owners is genuine.
Further supporting this bond are studies on brain chemicals. In both dogs and humans, and indeed all mammals, bonding behaviors are facilitated by a complex mix of molecules processed by the brain. Key among these are hormones like vasopressin and oxytocin, often (though perhaps excessively) termed the “love hormone.” Oxytocin levels surge in mammals during sexual arousal, childbirth, and nursing. Significantly, and unlike most other mammals, dogs also show an oxytocin spike when interacting with humans, mirroring the response seen with close family members. This hormonal response strongly indicates that dogs experience a form of storge for their owners.
Cats, while often perceived as more aloof, also participate in this hormonal exchange, albeit to a lesser extent. A study indicated that cats do experience an oxytocin boost when petted by their owners, suggesting a form of affection. However, this boost was only about one-fifth of that observed in dogs. This difference perhaps encapsulates the typical feline demeanor, offering a glimpse into how cats love their owners – more subtly, but present nonetheless.
Eros: Erotic Love and Pets
Thankfully, eros, or erotic love, is generally not how most dogs or cats perceive their owners. Even behaviors like leg-humping are unlikely to be sexually motivated. Instead, such actions in dogs might stem from managing household tensions or even simply being a pleasurable, non-sexual release. Observed in both male and female dogs, and occasionally cats, this behavior is more about social dynamics or simple enjoyment than erotic intent in the human sense.
Birds, however, present a different scenario when considering eros in pets. Birds are more prone to developing affections for their owners that could be interpreted as eros. For instance, a parrot stroked in areas like its back or under its wings might misinterpret these friendly gestures as courtship, triggering the production of sex hormones. These areas are significant in avian courtship rituals, making such petting akin to pre-mating behaviors. Thus, inadvertently “sexing up” a parrot is a real possibility, highlighting a unique aspect of pet love in birds.
Philia: Friendship and “Cupboard Love” in Pets
The ancient Greeks lacked a specific term for “cupboard love,” but this concept is undeniably relevant when considering how pets love their owners. This form of affection, driven by the anticipation of food, is likely experienced by a vast array of pets. The pet frog or snake becoming alert at feeding time, fish swarming to the top of their tank when food appears—these are examples of “cupboard love.” Even invertebrates like stick insects and hissing cockroaches might exhibit a rudimentary form of this affection.
This “cupboard love” closely aligns with philia, representing loyalty and dependable friendship, with food as the cornerstone. While it may not inspire romantic poetry, it is a tangible form of connection. It reflects a basic level of trust and reliance, an essential element in the spectrum of pet love.
Philautia and the Mystery of Dustin’s Love
A pessimistic part of me wondered if Dustin’s affection was purely philautia, self-love. Was his existence solely focused on self-preservation: finding safe hiding spots, securing food, and maintaining his comfort? This thought is disheartening for devoted pet owners like myself, suggesting our efforts might be unappreciated beyond meeting basic needs.
However, memories of Dustin’s rare, tender moments offer a different perspective. In the dead of night, when he thought we were asleep, a different Dustin emerged. He would sit at the foot of the bed, watching me sleep. Then, cautiously approaching, he would knead his paws against my ribs, a deep purr resonating from his body. This rumbling purr vibrated through me as I lay still, eyes closed. He would continue this for minutes, then reposition himself, resting his chin between my shoulder blades, paws draped over my shoulders as if embracing me.
I would remain motionless, cherishing these magical moments, inhaling the rhythmic vibrations of his purr. Sometimes, a string of pleasure-drool would slide down my neck – a badge of honor I welcomed. These episodes, lasting about twenty minutes, would abruptly end. Dustin would dart away, seemingly embarrassed by his display of vulnerability.
The ancient Greeks may not have had a word for this kind of love—a love that’s hesitant, expressed in fleeting, secret moments. It’s a love difficult to define, more felt than articulated. You recognize it when it happens; that’s the closest I can get to describing it.
Conclusion: A Spectrum of Pet Love
Dustin, in his cautious way, loved as he lived. His was a reserved yet genuine affection, a vivid thread in the intricate tapestry of human-animal interactions on Earth. Whether in fleeting moments of vulnerability or lifelong devotion, pets do engage with us, reciprocating affection in diverse and profound ways. So, do pets love their owners? Yes, in a spectrum of incredible ways, reflecting the rich and complex emotional lives of our animal companions.
