Many cat owners dream of cuddling and petting their feline companions, but sometimes, our affection isn’t always welcomed. You might have experienced your cat running away or even scratching when you try to pet them. This can leave you feeling confused and wondering how to build a loving bond with your cat. The truth is, understanding the art of “Cat Petting” is key to a harmonious relationship with your furry friend.
While we might assume cats enjoy being stroked from head to tail like we often see, cats have their own unique preferences. Just like humans, each cat has a distinct personality and what they enjoy in terms of touch varies significantly. This is what we call their “touch threshold.”
Some cats adore head pats, while others prefer to be scratched near their tail. Some like firm strokes, while others prefer a gentle touch. Interestingly, even kittens from the same litter can display different touch thresholds. This highlights why it’s essential to understand your individual cat’s preferences, especially if you’ve adopted an adult cat who has already developed their own lifetime of petting likes and dislikes.
Cats are naturally small creatures in a large world. Approaching them from above can feel intimidating, like a predator looming over them. Cats with past negative experiences might even perceive hands as a potential threat. Therefore, giving your cat control over petting sessions is crucial. Paying attention to their body language is your best tool in understanding their comfort level.
If your cat freezes, flattens their ears, or tightly closes their eyes while you’re petting them, these are clear signals that they are not enjoying the interaction and you need to adjust your approach.
To start petting on the right paw, try getting down to your cat’s level. This lessens the feeling of being approached by a predator. Allow your cat to come to you and rub against your legs or arms if you’re sitting. This behavior signifies trust and is how cats greet friendly felines.
The best approach to petting a new cat is to “ask” if they want to be petted. As cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy advises, “Let the cat pet you!”. Offer a finger or knuckle at their eye level and observe their reaction.
Cats who are receptive to petting will move towards your hand, even if it’s just a slight lean. Their eyes will appear soft and their pupils will be normal size (unless the lighting is dim). A slow blink is a great sign of trust and comfort. Their ears and whiskers will be pointing forward in a relaxed manner. If they initiate contact and touch you, you’ve received the green light to proceed with petting.
While many people instinctively pat a cat’s head, many cats actually prefer to be petted starting at their shoulders. Begin with a very gentle touch.
If your cat seems particularly sensitive to hands approaching their head, try petting them with the back of your hand. This can feel less threatening to some cats.
A clear indication that your cat is enjoying the petting is when they push back slightly into your hand. When you reach the base of their tail and they elevate their tail in response, you can be confident you’ve discovered a petting spot they love!
However, be mindful of overstimulation. Even cats who enjoy petting can reach their limit. This is especially important to watch for when you are still getting to know a new cat.
Watch out for these signs that indicate your cat has a low threshold for petting and is becoming overstimulated:
- Restlessness or fidgeting
- Rippling skin, especially along their back
- Ears flattening or twitching back and forth
- Tail thumping or thrashing rapidly
- Turning their head to face your hand, possibly as a warning
If you observe any of these behaviors, stop petting immediately! Allow the cat to decide when they want to initiate petting again. If they don’t, simply wait for another time.
If your cat becomes so overstimulated that they nip, it’s crucial to immediately withdraw your attention. You can do this by walking away or gently placing them off your lap. Consistent responses to nipping from everyone in the household can discourage this behavior.
Never continue petting after a cat has nipped. You don’t want to inadvertently reward them for nipping or biting by continuing the interaction.
Many cats dislike being picked up, particularly if you haven’t yet established a strong sense of trust. Imagine being a small, 10-pound cat suddenly lifted into the air by a creature many times your size and height! It’s understandable why they might struggle.
If you want to pick up your cat, start by acclimating them to being on your lap. Using treats as positive reinforcement can be helpful! Gradually progress from picking them up from your lap to your shoulders, supporting their back legs with one arm and their front with the other.
Look for positive signs that your cat is comfortable being held, such as a relaxed posture, soft eyes, and leaning into you. Build this trust gradually over time.
Once they are comfortable at shoulder height, you can gradually stand up, increasing their confidence that they are safe with you and you won’t drop them. Trust is the foundation of a positive relationship with a new cat.
Of course, purring and kneading (making biscuits) while being petted, and pushing back into your hand are all wonderful signs of feline contentment. In cat language, these are the ultimate compliments, showing you’ve mastered the art of cat petting and earned their affection.
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